Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
