You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
