it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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