lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
