I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize