weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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