ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
