nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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