Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
