I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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