So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize