Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
