Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize