the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
