why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You can't just leave with hair like that
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
