We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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