I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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