JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize