what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I party with great urgency now.
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