There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
