I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
