Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
