return my video game
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
