Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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