Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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