Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
