i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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