So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I came so hard my ears popped.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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