i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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