On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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