PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
