So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
