Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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