Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
