You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
