GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
