Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
