I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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