We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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