He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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