He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
