Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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