if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
