planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize