And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
