In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
