As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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