I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We left an ass print on the piano.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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