I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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