plz talk dirty to me
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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