You really coming over, don't trick.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize