Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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