Soap is not a condiment
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
