Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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