remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
