At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize