I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
