I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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