dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
