I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
