if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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