Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
