I am puke
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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