I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize