becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
