Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
