I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
