Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
