Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize