White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
