It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
