Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
