If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
