Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
